‘WAP’: Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion Have Some Wet Ass Production Value

Cardi B, the Coronavirus Whisperer, and Megan Thee Stallion, Thee TikTok Dominator, have united in song to bless us with “WAP,” released on Friday (August 7).

If it wasn’t already made abundantly clear by now: they’re certified freaks, seven days a week, and they’ve got some Wet Ass Pussy – sorry, Wet And Gushy.

The Ayo & Keyz-produced, positively filthy-mouthed collaboration finds the two rap superstars tag-teaming while riding across a sample of “Whores In This House” by Frank Ski, working their respective WAPs. There’s really no beating around the (very wet) bush here: the horny ass, cocky ass, wet ass verses are all up in your face…literally.

Put this pussy right in your face, swipe your nose like a credit card,” Cardi commands. She really lays on the sexual demands thick, including wanting you to “touch that lil’ dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat.” Just say uvula, queen!

Thee Stallion has some needs to be met of her own: “Gobble me, swallow me, drip down the side of me / Quick jump out, before you let you get inside of me.

A key Meg line: “In the food chain I’m the one that eat ya / If he ate my ass, he’s a bottom feeder.” High art!

The accompanying candy-coated, animal print-covered, Willa Wonka & The Wet Pussy Factory mansion fantasy of a music video was directed by Colin Tilley, and comes complete with a few special guests strutting around and doing the splits in various hidden rooms and hallways, including Rubi Rose, Sukihana, Mulatto, Kylie Jenner, Normani and yes – even ¡La Rosalía! Very “M.I.L.F.$” of them, really.